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I just hate it when something unexpected happens. Bad stuff. You know? I already forgot about the person. I forget that I get hurt when I know that the person hadn't talked to me for.. I don't know. Three years? Then something happens. It just sucks when you know that.. It might be your last time to talk to someone. Pft. Nonsense.

So.. He still hates me. And.. I'm affected by it? I am ashamed of the things that I've done to him. Heck, I don't even remember that I said something like that. I was so stupid and naive back then.

And another thing. About someone else. I'm sorry that I'm "grounded for life". I feel like it's my fault or something. I feel like it's useless asking me if we could go out. Or whatever. Cause I know that most of the time, my mom won't allow me. Besides, understand that I'm busy. I's your majors and mine. I can't afford to fail. I don't want to wait for a year. Sometimes.. Yea. "Nakakasakal". But I don't admit it; I don't tell you. I don't want you to get hurt. Sometimes, I need "iso mode" but I now that you won't understand it. You weren't there during my high school.

Am stressed out on school work too.

I don't know what to think; I don't know what to do. There's nothing I could do about it. Only pretend that nothing's wrong..

I miss.. I miss.. Before. Hanging out with Lauren and Val. Talking nonsense. Singing. Talking about anything under the sun. Haha. Chasing my crushes. Lau telling me "bruha ka". Val telling me "I'm just here for you".

Lau, if you read this, let me know when we could meet up. With Val. With Fleur rin. Let's parteeeeh.

Goodness. Vodka.

T.T

I wanna be freeeeeee. Not from Ardo ah. Just the feeling of.. freedom. Doing what I want. No one disturbing me.  

I don't think I could take this anymore.

I feel all rotten inside. Pressured. Cause of what, school work? Babaw naman. Depressed. I don't like my life there. I don't like my life right now. Yea, yea. Complicated. Whatever.

 And my mom adds up to the pressure. "Is that homework?" "Have you chosen your clothes?" "Sleep now, it's late." But if I continue doing my homework late at night, she tsks off and gets angry. I mean, what's up? It's not my fault that we get loads of work.

Things are starting to fall apart. Good thing Lau's there. Good thing Mikko's there. Dunno what I'd do without them. Probably go mental.  

So. What's up?

A lot of things due tomorrow. Pressured. I have to develop pictures early morning. I'm not yet done taking pictures. Gonna develop before the first subject. And I have a presentation during that subject. I don't know what to do. And I'm doing it alone. My mom doesn't fucking care. Or maybe she does. Somewhat. But she shouts. What the hell is that?

Nothing. Screwed. Sleepy. Grumpy. Cranky. Weak.  

Haha. Exactly. What great news.

I needed something to cheer me up. But what did I get? Something to make me feel worse. And I don't know why it made me feel that bad. Sigh. You can't get everything that you want. But.. What exactly do I want? Screwed.

June 23 people. June 23. Hah. Happy day to you. Finally, you moved on. Yea.. Finally.

I'm not confused. I just feel bad. I'm sad. And I don't want to analyze anymore. I don't want to think.

Oh yea! July 7 people! Harry Potter!! Yay! I wanna watch! Haha, changing topics at once. I've lost two people. How many more would I lose?